autumnmuse

068 Stuff

Thu, 05 Feb 2015 13:50:22 GMT

I find it difficult to express myself when things are at their worst. Instead, I recoil into my own mind and stew over things until I can either move past them or ‘get over it’. That’s been me the last week or so. Dropping myself into World of Warcraft as an escape when I’m home, and either working on school work or writing fiction in my free time.

Of course, it’s around dad. This new chemo hits him a lot harder than the last two he had, and the fact he is going every week now versus the every other week with the other treatments, is really deteriorating him faster. He was looking so good and doing so well the last year, but in the last two months since on this new treatment, it’s like night and day. He’s always in bed, he doesn’t want to eat (because he just can’t—everything makes him nauseous or throw up), he has no energy, the other treatments didn’t make him lose his hair except a very little in the very beginning, but now he is completely bald ): And wears a cap all the time. He always looks pale and just so very very tired. Two nights ago he was in bed with a lot of stomach pains, and no matter what we did for him, he didn’t feel better. It’s just so hard to watch him like this and I can’t help but cry whenever I get a moment to myself to really just be alone. I try not to let myself be alone though … hence the always playing WoW now, or trying to always be around someone else…because it forces me to be strong and not cry.

I’m so glad I am in school though. It’s amazing how much thinking about assignments or working or reading for class distracts me. If I think too hard, I just might end up in the looney bin.

This of course means I’ve been a shitty friend because I’ve been neglecting my friend’s page. My sincerest apologies ): I hope to get back to being better about that soon.

In other borning news, we’ve gotten a crapton of snow. The storm they said was supposed to be snowgeddon and ended up not being much? It came the following Monday when they said we weren’t going to get all that much and to not worry – ended up getting almost 2 feet! Everything is piled high on street corners making it almost impossible to see around, and I’m amazed I don’t see more accidents on the road due to that. Worst part? It’s snowing again this morning (only a few inches today to stop at 11am) …but supposedly it’s going to start snowing Saturday night and basically not stop until Tuesday night. Yeah. I don’t know how ‘much’ snow its supposed to be each day (if just a little flurry here and there, but definite snowfall) or if it will be a full blown snow storm for the those days … I really hope its not the latter. While I like a storm here and there to miss a day of work, I do not like having THIS much snow ruining morning and afternoon commutes for days on end. Ugh.

It does make for a pretty landscape where is untouched by road salt and dirt, and cars plowing through it on a daily basis. I might (if I actually feel like getting cold and probably soaked) take my camera and go out to a nearby park Saturday and snap some photographs. I haven’t done that in years and I am kind of itching to. If it’s bad out though on Saturday, I most likely won’t. While I trust MY driving (duh) … I really don’t trust other people’s (:D).

AND, I just made it in time to check in at getyourwordsout for my 200K pledge. So far this year I've written a total of 19,647 words! That includes the book I'm writing plus the short story I shared here earlier in the month about Zombies.

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067 Hoochie

Wed, 04 Feb 2015 01:17:54 GMT

I totally skank-ified out my toon .... she looks hot.

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066 Bullet Point

Thu, 29 Jan 2015 20:56:25 GMT

Just a quick bullet point today.

-- Getting to work today sucked big fat donkey balls…big dry fat donkey balls.
-- Class yesterday was good. We discussed some interesting “thinkers” of the early Meiji period. Some good stuff there for history geeks like myself.
-- Getting to class yesterday sucked even bigger fat donkey balls...maybe some ~~bull penis~~ bovine phallus too.
-- I hate the state of Connecticut’s “clean-up” process for snow … there is none (okay, slightly exaggerated, but that’s how it feels).
-- Only got about 12-14 inches, nowhere near the 33 predicted for our area (not surprised) – so no snowgeddon.
-- Had a lot of fun the last two nights in WoW. Got the hunter to 100 Tuesday and started some PVP (no comment). Also last night played with BL and his friend and we leveled our toons for guild achieves and gold (my enhance shaman, BLs Shadow priest and his friend’s Disc Priest) had some great laughs, so it made up for the sucky travel of the day.
-- Okay, I’ll comment. BL and I tried 2v2’s Tuesday and Blizzard kept putting us with overly geared PVP players (we just started so we have NO pvp gear). To say we got crushed is an understatement. So we did Battlegrounds …*headdesk* I need gear FAST lol. It was fun when we weren’t getting crushed but when up against actually geared people, it was a pain in the ass.
-- I dropped the communications class. I decided I want my Saturday mornings back (three semesters of Saturday 8am classes have finally caught up to me). That, and his lack of ANY correspondence really ticked me off.
-- Hoping for a nice quiet work day so I can get some reading done for class—won’t happen.
-- [5 hours later] Okay, it was relatively quiet. Got in one chapter, leaving one more for tonight. Not bad!

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065 Cute Pup

Wed, 28 Jan 2015 05:06:30 GMT

Just got this cute little guy through Draenor archaeology. He's so darn cute! #randompostisrandom And ignore my toon's ugly arse boots ... the gear this expansion is awful looking. :/

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064 Brain Like a Sieve

Tue, 27 Jan 2015 01:01:46 GMT

I’ve lapsed again. I keep meaning to come here and post, but something always draws my attention away—sigh. Here are the meme questions I’ve missed.

January 22 - What season is your favorite, and why? -t_hale_capital
Definitely autumn (why I choose this username too :D). I love everything Autumn related. The beautiful array of colors as the trees change. Hot apple cider, hot apple fritters, and gingerbread lattes… the smell of crisp air and just the right temperatures (not too hot, not too cold). AND of course … my birthday is in late September :D But mostly it’s the beautiful-ness of autumn that I love the most.

January 23 - If you could travel to any country (without worrying about $$), where would you go and why? - t_hale_capital
Definitely Egypt. It’s my number one spot to visit if I ever get the chance (and things calm down there making it safe to travel). I’ve always been so fascinated with the history of Egypt, and I’d love to see the pyramids and actually get a chance to go inside one (though I am claustrophobic, so that might be a problem).

January 24 - You travel to any point in your timeline to fix or change something about yourself to make your future better. Where do you go and what do you change? - yohjideranged
I’d go back and NOT date my last ex. I’d give myself a glimpse of all the horrible things that were to come after the ‘honeymoon’ phase of a new relationship. I’d save myself a lot of pain, but I think I’d also not be as pessimistic about relationships as I became after that one. I’d be more open to guys, and not think every word past their lips is a lie to get something out of me … I’d be less closed off and a lot more approachable … but as it stands, I just want nothing to do with men at this point in my life and I blame most of my reasoning for that on him and his emotionally and physical abuse. Yeah … I’d definitely change that in a heartbeat.

January 25 - Can you recommend me some good history books (any era)? - yohjideranged
I was a bit ahead of my class in reading, so I tended to read teenage level when I was around 10-11 years old. I’ll go with Authors/series because I can’t just pick five books hahaha …
Everything by Christopher Pike—I was obsessed with his books. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Pike_%28author%29
Lots of Judy Bloom books in there
Sweet Valley High series
R.L. Stine Blind Date, The Baby Sitter, Hit and Run (just a few)
Cynthia Voigt books

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063 Real Update

Mon, 26 Jan 2015 15:07:36 GMT

Apparently we’re getting Snowgeddon tonight, all day tomorrow, and into early Wednesday. They’re saying about 30inches of snow for us by the end of the whole ordeal. While I am glad this means we get out early today, have tomorrow off and probably will have a delayed opening on Wednesday … Wtf mother nature?! That’s a lot of snow. It’s like she saves it all up all winter long and then drops it on us, snickering “Ha-ha!” Sweet molasses I have no idea how we’re going to clean that all up, and where we are going to put it all. The last time we had this much snow, it was impossible to see the road backing out of the driveway … and that’s pretty dangerous.

But yeah … definitely no work tomorrow for us, which means I’ll be up all night playing World of Warcraft. My friend BL, his friend and I did a handful of dungeon runs on Saturday and got our toons leveled to 30, as well as got about 80 achievements for the guild (and gold, from running dungeons). We had fun, so hopefully tonight we can run a few more and get to 40 or 50.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day at the brother’s house. It was my Godmother and uncle’s 43rd wedding anniversary and she wanted to cook for us (I know…their anniversary but they wouldn’t let us cook!) … the food was absolutely amazing. I am still drooling thinking about it. She made turkey, stuffing, candied yams, and her famous bacalao dish (dried and salted cod fish for the non-Portuguese :D)… so delicious.

We did get them a cake, so we had some of that a bit later in the afternoon with espressos (or as we say, Bicas). Hung out, and it was really great. The “kids” (who aren’t kids anymore, but we still call ourselves this) hung out in the basement and watched movies. I saw a film that I can’t yet explain how I feel about. It’s called Stoker. It’s about a young woman whose father dies unexpectedly and out of the blue an uncle she never knew existed shows up and begins living with them. Her mother has basically lost all her marbles and drinks way too much wine in her condition. The movie is this oddly incestual (yeah I make up words) film that is not incestual ….but it gives up these really weird vibes. Basically her uncle is … different (I’ll put it that way) … and she knows there’s something up with him, and so much so she becomes obsessed with him (and he her). It was just a very odd movie, and just …weird (yeah, I know they mean the same thing—see how confused I am!). I still have no idea how I really feel about it, which might mean it is a good movie, but I am not sure yet. It’s classified as Thriller/Mystery, and it is partially but it should also have “wtf is going on in this movie” as a genre.

So yeah, watched that. Then I started to watch Premium Rush, but we decided to head home when I was about halfway, so I didn’t get to finish it. I might check it out later. Got home, and watched Dirty Dancing because I was feeling in an 80s mood… and also got about halfway in a new book I started at the bros. It’s got me hooked so I’ll probably finish it tonight.

So that was my weekend. Oh yeah, class Saturday got cancelled because of a smaller storm we got. So I got out of that :D It was a nice weekend indeed! I am actually thinking of just dropping the communications class. I am just not feeling it. Especially since I sent him three emails with the class list I promised to type of him and he still hasn’t ever responded to me to confirm he got it. For a professor in communications he really sucks at communicating. I’m just so annoyed by this, that I don’t even want to take the class anymore. I have until this weekend to decide, but I’m pretty set on my decision so I might just do it tonight.

And they just confirmed we’re getting out at 3pm today and definitely closed tomorrow. Maybe it will be Snowgeddon!

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062 I'm a Nerd

Wed, 21 Jan 2015 17:51:31 GMT

I’m already feeling like I have no time for everything I would like to do. I want to read, write, play video games AND get all my homework done in a timely fashion PLUS spend time with family. Grrr. Why can’t I have more time in the day? *sad*

Last night I played way too much World of Warcraft but for the first time in months, I was having fun. My friend, his three friends and I all did 5person Arenas … and I did it on my non-pvp character because she’s my only 100 at the moment (hunter is 95), and I actually still managed to do half decent so that tells you how bad they are *grin* Of course, I only did well when we went up against n00b horde teams lol … otherwise I would get crushed within seconds because my HP was so low compared to the others. It was a lot of fun though, even though we lost more than we won (we still won 8 out of about 20 LOL which is better than I thought with me as a handicap). Before I realized it, it was midnight! Gosh.

I did get the guild started, so w00t! I have decided to try to get a couple of guild achievements first before recruiting. So I am hoping my friend BL (the one on my server) can convince his friends to make toons on our server. If we have at least 3 of us power leveling new toons, we can get MAD achievements for the guild from the dungeons we run (just run dungeons the whole way through and probably hit at least 60 or 70 within a few days…its easy now).

If they don’t feel like leveling with us (which I don’t blame them), I’ll try to find someone to be our third to level so we can at least get some achievements before I start recruiting (don’t want it to be embarrassing ha-ha).

I know, I am very dorky. I know I know.

So it doesn’t look like I’ll be doing the Japan trip. They’re going for 15 days ): I am pretty bummed about that, but it’s way too long to be away. I would feel awful if (God forbid) something happened to my dad while I was over there *knocks on wood*. While something could happen if the trip was only 7-8 days too, it’s still a lot less nerve-wracking somehow to think about it. Don’t ask me how, just is lol … I’m weird, I know. So no Japan for me ): Maybe next year if they decide to do the trip again (which I hope they do) and all is well with dad (which I hope is).

I leave for class in half an hour. It’s a gorgeous sunny day here, and not as frigid as last week so it’s quite nice and has me feeling pretty upbeat (even on just 5 hours of sleep). Thankfully class is only an hour and 20ish minutes, so I’ll be home by 3:30 :D And with that, I leave you with today’s question which is also wow related :D

January 21 - If you found yourself transported into Azeroth, and you were given the option to live as any race/class which would you choose and why? –blm

This is kind of hard because I love the way the draenei and humans look. I also find the gnomes so darn adorable … but if I had to choose, I’d pick a human. I think they did a really good job redesigning them. As for class, I’d go paladin. I’ve been playing one for three years now and with the right gear, she is beast. Whether it’s PVP or PVE, I usually do well on her and have a lot of fun with her. I am enjoying my hunter too, so it would be a tossup between the two but if I have to choose, then paladin lol.

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060 Lots of Meme Questions

Tue, 20 Jan 2015 16:33:42 GMT

I am super behind on my January meme. I didn’t realize I’d let it go so long. So, instead of writing about Sunday Monday AND the meme’s, here are the questions. I’ll post about the other stuff later.

January 15 - Out of anyone that has ever lived, who would you most like to meet? - serys
I would have loved to have met Leonardo da Vinci. I find everything about his life fascinating. He was both extremely artistic and very intelligent (genius). I think he would have been an amazing person to interview. Seriously, if you don’t know much about him, I highly recommend doing a little research on him—he’s so damn fascinating. And of course, I’d definitely want to meet Cleopatra—she was kickass. :D

January 16 - What is one thing you like about yourself? - serys
I’m very trustworthy. I think the reason people always come to me for advice or help or just to talk to, is because everything they tell me that is private, remains that way. There are things I know that would literally ruin marriages – but it’s not my place to do that.

January 17 - Talk about something that is beautiful to you. - serys
I love sunsets or sunrises on the beach. The sound of the waves crashing on shore. The warm sand between the toes. The gentle glow of yellows, deep purples and blues, and hints of pink as the sun dips or rises at the horizon. The deep blue of the ocean, reflecting the rays along its rippling surface. The sound of seagulls overhead. Watching as they dive toward the water and scoop up their breakfast or dinner, to fly away victorious. No one around for miles, creating a peaceful silence that soothes away the thoughts of worry or everyday life—a silence that is never uncomfortable.

January 18 - You are in a massive library that contains every book in existence. Which section do you go to first and why? yohjideranged
I’d go into the ancient works archives—the kind of stuff the Roman Catholic church has in its basement. I can only imagine the kind of stuff I’d find – the first written words ever… secret documents that people haven’t laid eyes on in centuries … that kind of stuff :D I’d also see if there was a section of books that revealed the truth about every conspiracy out there (aliens, JFK, etc) LOL

January 19 - A genie grants you 3 selfish wishes. These wishes cannot be used for anyone else or for any altruistic purposes. What do you wish for? - yohjideranged
1. Enough money to live comfortably (a home with 2 bedrooms and a room big enough for a library – enough money to afford the taxes, purchase of said house, and all utilities I will ever need for the rest of my life). AND enough money to travel to one new place once a year (any place I want).
2. Publish one of my books without me having a panic attack, nervous breakdown over it.
3. Make me a VAMPIRE! :D

January 20 - If you were told you could only play one faction in WoW which faction would you choose and why? blm
Alliance. Though I started out Horde and enjoyed it for a long time, I am a lover of the Alliance side. The characters are just way more pleasing to my eye, the cities tend to be prettier, and while the quests are pretty much the same on both ends, I have always felt like Alliance give better gear (especially early on)—I could be making that up, but it’s what it feels like. Plus, I have never had TOO many problems with people who play alliance. I feel like most horde players are real dicks ROFL. Again, it could not be the truth or just my luck of who I have run into …but the two alliance servers I’ve played on have always had pretty nice people (of course, you’ll always find the occasional jackass in every group, but horde seems to have a lot more of them lol).

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058 School's Back

Sat, 17 Jan 2015 17:11:02 GMT

And already busy. I already had to read four chapters for Friday's class, and today I had class at 8am, which means I'm in bed by 10pm on Friday nights lol. It's only the first week and I already have three projects due next week (two for today's class and one for history). D'oh.

So far I really like both of my professors. They're both very passionate which I always find makes the class period go by quicker and I feel like I actually learn more because I am not dozing off or dying to escape the class when it ends.

Wed/Fri I have Japanese Modern History. He's decided to do it more of a discussion type of class, than a lecture type. He basically gives us mad reading (4 chapters a time in one book for Fridays, and 4 articles at a time for Wednesday's class), and then he wants us to write 3 sentences (only) on each of the chapters/articles, and bring these in for class. Yeah, it's work.

On Saturday I have my forced-upon-me communications course. It's an intro course and the very last one I need for my general studies. I've put it off for so long because I hate public speaking with a passion, and I hate that this is required soooooo .. finally taking it. Not surprisingly, he has a syllabus full of topics to do small presentations on each week, a journal we have to keep each week (thoughts, experiences of the class, news in the world or articles that tie into the class), a group (which I also hate) speaking project where each group gets one chapter and they go over it for the class (sigh) ... and our final speaking assignment at the very end of the class that should be no more than 20 minutes and counts a LOT toward our grade. Yet, even after hearing/reading all of that, he truly made it seem like it will be a great class or else I would rush off to drop this thing and put it off even longer. I hope it's fun. We'll see.

So that's been my last four days. Spent most of Thursday reading for Friday and most of Friday working on the sentences (which is hard ... coming up with 3 sentences that sum up an entire chapter is not easy to do). And spent three hours this morning (8am-11am) in Comm's class. *headdesk* It will be a lonnnnng semester.

Of course, this means between work and assignments I haven't had too much time to go through and read my friend's page, so I am a few days behind. Hopefully I can keep up with entries most of the week and just kind of be MIA Wed-Sat. morning lol.

I am very tempted to take a trip abroad this year with the History department. It's to Japan, and the cost is relatively great for what we get out of it (and we get 3 credits in a level 400 class). Plus, it will be to a place that I most likely will never get the opportunity to visit ... ever. I am seriously considering it. He doesn't say in the email how long the trip is, but I do have vacation time at work and the trip takes place after my job's Graduation (which is the biggest thing at work I HAVE to be at) ... So maybe. I'll have to see how my dad is doing, but I don't know how early I have to register for it. Decisions .... decisions.

This is already long, so I'll just do my meme questions for this weekend tomorrow or Monday. I think I'll go try to catch up on your entries now.

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057

Thu, 15 Jan 2015 03:25:40 GMT

January 14 - What are you excited about at the moment? - serys

Sad commentary on my life when I admit I am excited that classes have started back up. They help distract me from a lot of stuff going on right now. Plus I love history and its kind of a secret joy to take history classes for my major.

Had my first class today for Modern Japanese History and it looks to be a good course. I already have an assignment due Friday though, ha. That I don't miss too much.

That and I wrote about 4,000 words today, which made me feel good (and a story I'm pretty hyped about). I am hoping to write more tomorrow.

In other brief news, I've been extremely emotional lately with everything going on with my dad. It's become really bad (basically crying every night to sleep). I really think I need to find a professional to talk to because I don't know how much more I can of this emotional roller coaster. Hopefully I can find someone ... and soon.

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056 Dragon Age & My Love For Monsters

Wed, 14 Jan 2015 00:13:14 GMT

January 13 - Vampire, werewolf, zombie, ghost, something else. What is your favorite type of monster movie/book? - yada_yada

All the above! I looooooove anything with vampires, werewolves, zombies, ghosts, witches, Fae, supernatural, otherworldly in it. It’s my favorite genre of books mostly and it’s moving into shows and movies (Vampire Diaries, Lost Girl, etc). Though I’m pretty upset Lost Girl is ending this season, but I guess 5 seasons is actually a good run for a SyFy show … they usually don’t last a first.

It’s also the genre I enjoy writing about as well.

But yes, if you’re into this genre and have a good series I should check out to read, hit me up! (:

------------------------------------------

Last night I played the very beginning of Dragon Age Inquisition. It's quite a beautiful game (as seen by sceenshots below). I took a few of my character in the beginning and I have to admit, the character creation screen is quite amazing. I also do like that moving is the normal gaming keys. The only harp I have is that when they're fighting, you have to move the group a certain away, and you can place the characters in your group in a different area, etc ...but when it's on a mountain or some kind of height difference from the baddies, the view mode makes it quite annoying to do that lol ... but otherwise, it's interesting. I didn't get far so I can't give much real game review, but maybe in a few weeks I can. For now, enjoy some SS's :D

My character, RaWr

( Three More Under the Cut )

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051 Graphic-y Stuff

Tue, 06 Jan 2015 13:40:14 GMT

I spent the better part of last night downloading new fonts, finding Photoshop brushes and messing around with a few ideas. I didn't make any actual icons yet, but I hope to futz around a bit tonight. I forgot how much I enjoy this kind of stuff, and hours passed before I even realized it.

Now that I have to be up every day around 7am though, I need to be in bed much sooner, but I've always been a night owl. It's been a lifelong struggle to stay on a normal sleep schedule. For me, normal is 4-5 hours a night, sometimes less. As I've gotten older though, this is so not cutting it, and I find I do best when I get at least 7 hours. So, when I finally noticed the time last night, and it was after midnight, I was shocked.

Finally crawled into bed a little after 12:30am, but it always takes me half an hour to an hour to actually fall asleep due to a stupid active mind that never shuts up. Book ideas, icon ideas, work woes, school stresses, all this decides to bombard me when I am lying in bed, ready for sleep. RaWr! By the time I actually fell asleep it was closer to 2am... so no 7 hours last night and I have a feeling it's gonna hit me around 3pm today LOL.

Anyway. I am chipping away at that mammoth book I decided to read first this year. I'm around 256 pages, out of about 622 I believe. I figure if I can read 50ish pages a night, that's pretty good. I may pick up another book while reading this one that is shorter though. I am still trying to decide.

Anyway ... Here is today's question!

What is the best thing about your relationship with your parents? - serys

I think the fact that I even have a relationship with my parents is quite amazing. I sadly know a lot of people who don’t get along with their parents, or who have sadly lost their parents and maybe never really got to know them or spend time with them. I feel my life has been enriched by knowing them and keeping them such a big part of my life, even into adulthood.

I think the unconditional love is a beautiful gift that I wish more people in this world were able to experience. The trust, the care and the judgment-free sharing of thoughts is always a huge plus. I don’t know how I will be able to get on without them … they are such a huge part in my life—and this I think might be a problem in the future as I am very attached to them and can’t imagine life without them (which might not be the best thing ... but it is. It's a double edged sword).

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050 Thank you!

Mon, 05 Jan 2015 21:14:09 GMT

Thank you so very much to yohjideranged for giving me the very last few questions I needed to complete the January Meme. You rock so very much! I really appreciate the time you took to ask me the last handful <3

What are your favorite colors??

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049 Happy Monday

Mon, 05 Jan 2015 16:09:23 GMT

You can tell I’ve had a few weeks off, I am using Happy and Monday together. Today begins one of the many long days I have this semester. Since I have to leave work at 1pm on Wednesday and Friday’s to make my 1:40pm class, I have to scrunch up all my time into three days (since those two days I do only 4 hours). So I basically work from 8am-5pm (no lunch but of course I take short breaks and munch on stuff for a few minutes here and there) on Mon., Tues., and Thurs. *headdesk* The light at the end of the dark tunnel are my Wednesday’s and Friday’s. Class is from 1:40pm – 2:55pm, so I should be home by 3pm. I do also have a Saturday class this semester, my last one ever. It’s communications which I already know is going to be a pain in my ass. So yeah, that all starts this Friday/Saturday… oii!

I do get a long break today though. The ‘team’ leader is taking us out to lunch. Problem? LB called out sick today, which is the worst thing she could do because now I am trapped with annoying coworker from hell plus her BFF and then the team leader. I don’t even care if it’s a free lunch, I so do not want to go. Ugh. Bwahahaha, they are rescheduling it, w00t! I text LB to let her know, and she was all “nooooo!” LOL We’re two peas in a pod.

Anyway … you guys should add me to goodreads (and I'll add back of course :D). I only have one friend on there and it feels lonely :D LOL

I leave you all with January 5th’s question. Have you ever had your heart broken? - Submitted by serys

Oh yeah. A few times actually. I think it’s why I’ve become more and more closed off emotionally. The one that hurt the most was definitely my last relationship. We dated for almost 5 years, and it ended up becoming both a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I sometimes still have nightmares about it …. and in the end, I had to get a restraining order on him because after I broke it off, he still kept driving by my street or ‘encountering’ me at weird places. I think a lot of my hang ups now regarding relationships are due to a lot of unresolved things from that period of my life, but I’m stubborn and haven’t really gotten the help I know I need. Maybe one day … when I'm no longer content just being on my own and wish to seek out companionship.

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048 Barnes and Noble

Sun, 04 Jan 2015 23:22:02 GMT

Anyone here use Barnes and Noble? I got a gift card from the team boss at work and am trying to see if I can use it to buy digital stuff (like eBooks, etc). So far my attempts have failed and they make me charge stuff to a credit card -- which defeats the purpose.

I may just have to buy hard copy books, which is fine, but it would be nice if I could buy eBooks. Not that I have a nook but I have the nook app on a lot of things, ha!

As a gift for Christmas with my amazon gift cards, I got myself a 6" Kindle Fire. It arrived today and I've been putting in all the books I haven't read, and so far I am really liking it. It's the perfect size. Not too big, but small enough that it's bigger than a telephone and I can read. It's about the size of a paperback.

I also got all my books but one for my classes. I bought a book used and they said it might take two weeks to get here, but these are the books for my two classes (communications having only one book at the very bottom).

Otherwise, it's been a quiet Sunday. I worked on leveling my Mage from 93 to 95 just so I can expand the stupid tailor and enchanting depots in my garrison (which I need to be 96 for). I also leveled my young monk a little bit (level 10). Still not really into the expansion, but it's something to do to pass the time when I need a break from reading.

( Me Kindle Fire Under Here )

And January 4th's question! What is your best physical feature? - Submitted by serys

Honestly, my eyes. I love my eyes. They’re hazel most days, but they change color depending on what I am wearing (green, gray and blue). I also have natural long lashes, which had an old friend of mine once say “I wish I could gouge your eyes out and put them in my head.” Not kidding. Kind of creeped me out, lmao. But yeah, I love my eyes … and that’s probably why its the first feature I look for in guys. If a guy has hot eyes, yum!

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047 January 3rd Meme Quest-ion-ay

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 22:06:17 GMT

It's only January 3rd and we're already getting our first real snowfall this winter. More than the little dusting we had back in early December. There's about two inches so it should be stopping soon ha-ha. Why couldn't this have fallen on a work day? *grin* LOL

I just drove down the street and down two more in it to get a Subway sammich because I am starving. So, thought I'd do January 3rd's question from the January meme. :D

What is your dream profession? - Submitted by serys

Growing up I always wanted to be a teacher. I remember people always telling me I’d make a great teacher some day. I lost out to fear. I just can’t overcome the idea of failing at it, so I kind of gave up on going for it. Plus, I've always gotten comfortable at my jobs, that I never had a huge desire to go for it again (except the collections job... by the end of that I was ready to be a pig farmer).

My other dream profession is being a professional fiction writer. I love writing. I have loved it since I was a child. I was that kid that carried a notebook everywhere she went and scribbled away while others chatted. I was the kid that would write short story after short story while people stared at me like I had completely lost it lol … hell, I am still that kid, but instead of a notepad it’s a laptop or a tablet. Maybe someday I won't be a chickenshit anymore :D

Speaking of writing, going to go do a little reading :D

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046 Friday Dance

Fri, 02 Jan 2015 16:01:38 GMT

First day back to work after that long break and it's dead here. Only 3 people came into work on my floor, 1 on the second and 2 on the main level ... ha! It's so nice though. I love when it's this quiet at work.

I just finished going through all of my emails and phone messages, which thankfully weren't that many, and now I am just relaxing. I picked out the first book to read this year, and of course I had to pick out the thickest book I have on my TBR bookshelf... haha! It's a genre I don't typically read but I read The Warded Man by Peter V. Brett and totally loved it and someone recommended this book for me. So far I am enjoying it (but only 50 pages in haha).

It's called The Name of the Wind. I am looking forward to this read--all 662 pages of it. I also have the second book from The Warded Man, so I will probably read that next.

I can't believe classes start back up next week. Where did the last three weeks go? I had a mini panic attack last night thinking about how quickly the time went, and it freaks me out when I sit down and really think about how fast life is just flying by. I'm not even kidding ... I had the chills, feeling of the world spinning, heavy breathing and my heart thudding in my ears and a deep sinking feeling in my stomach from total panic ... It was a crappy feeling. I had to get up out of bed at like 3am and read to distract myself because it was bad.

Thankfully I am okay now, and it's why I like coming into work. Too much time off means too much time to myself to think, and thinking is usually bad. This way I'm distracted most of the day haha.

Well, I leave you with today's question from the January Meme!

Top five animated films. - Submitted by yohjideranged

It’s sad but I really do love animated films. My top five animated films are:

5: Kung Fu Panda
4: WALL-E
3: UP
2: Monster’s Inc
1: Despicable Me (I love dem minions!)

That was actually hard to come up with, there are so many I really have enjoyed over the last few years.

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045 January Meme

Thu, 01 Jan 2015 21:33:30 GMT

Happy New Year everyone!! I hope it was a great night for everyone (: We had some fun putting together a puzzle (I know, nerdy) ... our friend Mike came over too and we all ended up staying up until 5am watching movies rofl. I don't remember the last time I was up that late on New Years. Anywho, leaving you with today's question from the January meme! Still need some questions here if you'd like to help out!

Do you do New Year's resolutions? If you do, what do you want to complete for 2015? - Asked by yada_yada .

I suppose they can be called resolutions, but I prefer to call them goals. Things that I would like to accomplish or work on in 2015. I feel like the word ‘resolution’ puts more pressure on these than necessary … ha! But I do have some for 2015.

1. Spend as much time with dad as I can without making him feel suffocated :D
2. Complete the writing pledge I made for 2015 (200K words). Try to write poetry again.
3. Read at least 30 books this year, and I will include college books! Also, write more reviews on the books I read.
4. Write in this journal at least once a day, and try to share at least one positive thing from each day.
5. Take more photos. I won’t say I’ll do the photo-a-day challenge, but if I take photos, to share them more. I always start off strong then by February I’m barely taking a photo a month, haha.
6. I usually only drink soda when I go out to eat or when I’m at my bros (because he always has soda). My mission is to completely quit drinking soda this year, even if it is an occasional thing.
7. Visit two new places this year, even if they are right here in Connecticut (as long as I’ve never been before).
8. Make icons/banners again.
9. Do well in my classes.
10. Never go back to Facebook—ever.

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044 New Years Eve

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:21:56 GMT

Happy New Years Eve everyone! I hope that you all have a wonderful, joyful and memorable passage into the New Year.... and that this new year brings in many happy memories, lots of love and great successes.

I still need a couple more questions for my January Meme here. Feel free to ask me anything! Just pick the date and ask me anything. The 18th and the last few dates in the month are missing. Thanks in advance!!

I'm at the hospital right now with pops. He's getting his weekly chemo treatment. We'll be here until about 3-4PM.

We're not yet sure what we're doing tonight but I think they want to go to my brother's house to ring in the new year. Every year we typically do my Godmother's house and the whole family gathers, but the last two or three years all the "young kids" go out, so it's just been us old people (yes, I am old now *sadface*). So this year my dad said he didn't want to bother, especially since the treatments have been hitting him a lot harder with this new chemo. So last night, all the youngins were all "So what are we doing for New Years?" Really people?! Not only is it so late, but now they want us to plan some last minute thing ... where most places won't even taken food orders anymore ... to plan something at my godmothers? It just irks me lol. It's like we always have to do stuff on 'their' schedule. Oh well, not this year.

Going to lay back, watch some television, maybe play some video games or build those gingerbread houses we didn't get to build last week and take it easy.

What are you plans for tonight? If any.

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043 Writing in 2015

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 08:04:45 GMT

Thanks to ysabetwordsmith , I found this great writing community here on DW that will prompt me to track my writing all year long. I currently write quite a bit, so hopefully I can hit the pledge I made. :D I'll create a tag, an try to share where I'm at weekly as far as the writing goes. Ha. Previous post has pictures if you're bored <3

I pledge to write 200K words in 2015, so here's hoping I can!

GetYourWordsOut: Year Seven!
Pledges & Requirements | GYWO.net

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042 Thank You

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 05:24:04 GMT

Thank you, Kam for the holiday card and gift! You're the bestest <3

Been trying to enjoy the last few days of my break. I am hoping it snows New Years night so I don't have to go to work on Friday :D Though, it won't and I'll have to go. It's still not too bad... Friday is my short day, so it's not a big deal.

I am very thankful for the time I've had with my family these two weeks. Also, for the lovely gifts everyone's gotten me. I finally got one of my long time items on my wish list -- a Telescope :D. It's been fun to glance up on clear nights, and even my brother NTP has been enjoying it haha.

I also got clothes, some new blankets for my new bed as well as a new blankie, a pair of sketchers, new books to read (two of which I read last week :D), some fluffy pjs, gift cards to amazon, one of those mugs that change when you add hot liquid, and cash (: My friends and family know me so well!

Anywho ... some photos from last week.

We left my bros it was snowing here.

The ride up was very beautiful and peaceful. Too bad you can see the van reflection in this photo, otherwise it would be quite zen. :D

Next couple are from the check-in / check-out lobby.

( Lots more photos under the cut. )

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041 Merry Christmas

Thu, 25 Dec 2014 04:15:19 GMT

My father is here with us. All the tests came back clear and they doctors have absolutely no idea what may have caused all the pain he had. It's a sucky feeling, not knowing what was causing it, but Im thankful it was nothing serious and he looks 100% better from Monday. That has been my best gift this holiday.

I just finished making some heath cupcakes and decorated them with some very sketchy trees :D I took some photos, which I'll upload sometime next week. My brother's cheated and each had one already and they enjoyed them. I just threw the heath bar bits into the batter and hoped it would turn out good.

Otherwise, I just want to wish everyone who celebrates it a very Merry Christmas! In less than hour it will be Christmas day here. <3

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040 So Much to Say

Wed, 24 Dec 2014 04:48:55 GMT

I feel very overwhelmed. I haven't written because my dad doesn't want anyone knowing, but I have to write or Ill explode. Dad wasn't feeling well at all since Thursday. He's been having crazy shivers, a horrible pressure in his stomach, and just overall sense of horrible-ness (Nausea, etc). Seeing him so broken makes me feel so helpless and pissed off.

Well, it only got worse, to the point that Monday morning we called my dad's oncologist. We got my dad's nurse, Sheila, who I actually really like. She told us that even though it might not be what it could be (bowl perforation), she was letting it be up to us whether to take dad to the ER so we could be sure because his symptoms were also symptoms of the bowl perforation.

Of course, we didn't want to take any chances. Thing is, we're all up here in the Berkshires (which thankfully is only an hour and a half away from home/hospital). My dad didn't want all of us to go. He didn't want to ruin the trip for everyone so he basically had me and my brother DTP stay behind, while he, my mom, NTP and Trisha went to the hospital yesterday morning and got there about Noon.

I have hated that decision this entire time. Being here, pretending to have a good time, is the opposite of what we're doing. We're stressing out, on edge, and wishing all kinds of things. We've been calling and texting the entire time, but I hate it. I want to be there with him. Never mind that the hospital doesn't have space for all of us to spend the night with him ... it's not the point.

Initial tests said it wasn't the bowl perforation, but the doctor found his gallbladder quite inflamed which considering everything else going on with dad, can be a major issue. They did an MRI earlier tonight (6ish) to see what might be causing it to be inflamed. We're hoping its just some build up they can give medication for. My brother NTP said they might know something tonight, but probably tomorrow.

DTP and I agreed that if my dad isn't released in the AM with the all-okay we're packing up and heading home. I wanted to this morning but NTP said that would just my dad feel worse, as if he's ruined out week. I hate it, but he's right. My dad will take it to mean something is really bad and that is why we're rushing home. It's not even that ... It's the week of Christmas, we should all be together.

I can't wait for this horrible year to be over. I want my dad to feel better. I want him to stop looking like he is at death's door (it was so bad these last few days, he looked so sick, broken and done ... I think my tear ducts have no more tears). I want to stop feeling so damn helpless.

DTP and I have basically been trying to keep from going nuts by working on a 750 piece puzzle, and when that gets tiring on the eyes, I've been reading. I finished my first non-school book this year--sad, I know. It was actually a really great read, and kept me distracted for a little bit. I took time actually reviewing it too. Usually I just give books stars and move on, but I wrote up a review (which I'll post under a cut.

Otherwise, we've been sitting around just waiting for news. I hope he gets released in the morning with good news (as good as this kind of stuff can give). I just want to go home, honestly. I just want to pack everything and go.

Snow Like Ashes by Sara Raasch

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I wish I could give half stars because this would be 4.5 stars. It was a truly enjoyable read (read it all in one day). This is the first debut novel by Sara, and considering that, she is truly talented.

Sara weaves a beautiful tale, in a world run by the seasons, with Spring on a serious power trip to overrun all of the other seasons. Having already wiped out Winter, enslaved its people and on the hunt for its Prince, Spring is planning the ultimate coup. Too bad that the night Winter fell, 25 Winterians escaped.

( Continue Reading - Snow Like Ashes Review )

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039 Penguin and Monkey

Fri, 19 Dec 2014 18:41:45 GMT

Because they both won in the poll. :D And it's Friday... and cuteness is always an added plus on Fridays. Plus, I'm home today and managed to clean my room, organize my bookshelf, pack for next week AND clean up a bit around the house :D Enjoy!

Oh! And minion peeps that Trisha gave me for Christmas, because she knows how much I love the minions. She also gave me a great t-shirt with them on it. I'll photo that next week :D

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038 Christmas Stuff

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 18:16:06 GMT

I just had to return one of the gifts I got my brother DTP. I got him a dart board for his gaming room in the basement. It was one of those in a big wooden cabinet, and the real dart board inside with the professional scoreboard on the sides. It was actually a really good sale, so I was pretty happy. Then it arrived and yesterday he opened it and the cabinet doors were all scuffed up, and the inside was all chipped. I was pretty upset. I know this stuff happens, but ugh. So I just went through amazon to get them to send me a replacement, and processing to get this one sent back. Thankfully, my job is a UPS pick up spot, so I don’t have to lug the heavy ass thing to a location. Just wish he’d had it so we could set it up this weekend before going away lol. Oh well. Now they’re saying the new one won’t be in until mid-January, ugh.

I hate returning stuff Lol.

Oh sweet goodness, I just laughed so hard. My brother made a JibJab video using the heads of our family (his, dad’s, DTPs, mine and mom’s) rofl. I’m sharing it because I want to laugh my ass off all holiday season with this :D

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