068 Stuff

Feb. 5th, 2015 08:50 am
autumnmuse: By me (Default)
I find it difficult to express myself when things are at their worst. Instead, I recoil into my own mind and stew over things until I can either move past them or ‘get over it’. That’s been me the last week or so. Dropping myself into World of Warcraft as an escape when I’m home, and either working on school work or writing fiction in my free time.

Of course, it’s around dad. This new chemo hits him a lot harder than the last two he had, and the fact he is going every week now versus the every other week with the other treatments, is really deteriorating him faster. He was looking so good and doing so well the last year, but in the last two months since on this new treatment, it’s like night and day. He’s always in bed, he doesn’t want to eat (because he just can’t—everything makes him nauseous or throw up), he has no energy, the other treatments didn’t make him lose his hair except a very little in the very beginning, but now he is completely bald ): And wears a cap all the time. He always looks pale and just so very very tired. Two nights ago he was in bed with a lot of stomach pains, and no matter what we did for him, he didn’t feel better. It’s just so hard to watch him like this and I can’t help but cry whenever I get a moment to myself to really just be alone. I try not to let myself be alone though … hence the always playing WoW now, or trying to always be around someone else…because it forces me to be strong and not cry.

I’m so glad I am in school though. It’s amazing how much thinking about assignments or working or reading for class distracts me. If I think too hard, I just might end up in the looney bin.

This of course means I’ve been a shitty friend because I’ve been neglecting my friend’s page. My sincerest apologies ): I hope to get back to being better about that soon.

In other borning news, we’ve gotten a crapton of snow. The storm they said was supposed to be snowgeddon and ended up not being much? It came the following Monday when they said we weren’t going to get all that much and to not worry – ended up getting almost 2 feet! Everything is piled high on street corners making it almost impossible to see around, and I’m amazed I don’t see more accidents on the road due to that. Worst part? It’s snowing again this morning (only a few inches today to stop at 11am) …but supposedly it’s going to start snowing Saturday night and basically not stop until Tuesday night. Yeah. I don’t know how ‘much’ snow its supposed to be each day (if just a little flurry here and there, but definite snowfall) or if it will be a full blown snow storm for the those days … I really hope its not the latter. While I like a storm here and there to miss a day of work, I do not like having THIS much snow ruining morning and afternoon commutes for days on end. Ugh.

It does make for a pretty landscape where is untouched by road salt and dirt, and cars plowing through it on a daily basis. I might (if I actually feel like getting cold and probably soaked) take my camera and go out to a nearby park Saturday and snap some photographs. I haven’t done that in years and I am kind of itching to. If it’s bad out though on Saturday, I most likely won’t. While I trust MY driving (duh) … I really don’t trust other people’s (:D).

AND, I just made it in time to check in at [community profile] getyourwordsout for my 200K pledge. So far this year I've written a total of 19,647 words! That includes the book I'm writing plus the short story I shared here earlier in the month about Zombies.

034 Words.

Dec. 16th, 2014 10:56 am
autumnmuse: by shalowater.livejournal.com (mittens hot mug)

Ugh, this video on BBC Earth just totally touched my heart. It’s that awesome.

I want to rage about the 141 innocent lives that the Taliban ruthlessly slaughtered, but that will not bring them justice or peace. My heart is breaking for the families of those tiny souls ... such heartlessness cannot continue, but how do we (as in me and other citizens of the world trapped without the ability to do anything) help stop these absolutely insane men--because only people who have absolutely lost their mind could find any kind of message in the senseless murder of innocent children. I just ... I can't. This world is seriously coming to an end.

[I said I wasn't going to rant about it and did, sigh. Moving on.]

Thank you so very much [personal profile] yohjideranged . I received your Christmas card <3

Now that the semester is over and I have nothing pressing on my brain to write for class, I’ve gotten the mojo back to start writing this book idea I have. I’ve written two chapters so far, and I like the concept brewing in my brain for the 'bad guy', bwahaha. Your book is only as good as your villain to hero ratio man! :D LOL Yeah, I have no idea what I am talking about.

So that will be my project while we're in the Berkshires next week. I am going to bring some movies too, but a lot of what Ill do is probably writing.  That and I am going to see if I can find a good editing program for my MAC so I can make some icons lol ... Give me some fun stuff to do that week since we usually just sit around, veg out and watch movies or play video games anyway :D It really is a great week!

I did decide I will make some Christmas decorated cupcakes next week, so I need to go buy some ingredients today, and since tomorrow is work's Christmas party, I'll grab something for that too.

I do plan to bring my camera next week, so hopefully I can get some nice photos out there that I can share. Oh! I also have to buy gingerbread house kits for us to make those next week too... bwhahaha. So much to do this week and so little time (and pack...ahhhh).

It's weird to feel both angry at the world and excited for a trip. I feel like a horrible person. :/

autumnmuse: by meaprill.livejournal.com (Castle - Kinky?)
As I predicted … I am just not feeling this World of Warcraft expansion after all the fail early on. It just really left a bad taste in my mouth and I haven’t played it in over a week. I just don’t have this burning desire to get on and play.

I’m actually thinking of giving SIMS 4 another chance. I guess they added a patch that added pools lol (or are going to add pools in an upcoming patch). Still don’t understand how they released a new game and reduced the options in the game of typical first expansions lol. I do enjoy the new way of building homes, which is one of my favorite things to do in SIMS (sad I know). I rarely get families past two generations because I like building homes too much. I can spend days on one.

In other news, one of my favorite organizations that I donate money to, sent me a really pretty hanging calendar for next year, which was actually a great reminder for me to make my yearly donation to them. I really love nature, so I try to donate to Plant a Billion Trees around Christmas (as well as the Red Cross). It's never a lot, but I figure every little counts.  This year I'll be adding a donation to the American Cancer Society in honor of my dad.

And lastly ... I have this idea floating around in my head for a new book,  and I'm itching to get started on it, but I haven't had the time to really sit down and write it. Maybe after classes are all done and things settle a little at work, I can start it. Oh and either Saturday or Sunday I have to go to the stupid museum and then write a report on my visit. *Headdesk* May take pictures, but not sure yet.

OH, and I think Ill be getting some paid time on here ... so look out for some really dumb polls and a pretty kickass (or not) moodtheme! :D


004 Nano!

Nov. 7th, 2014 01:03 pm
autumnmuse: by breakthesky89.dreamwidth.org (Ironman - We have a Hulk)

I really didn't forget it was Nano month, but at the same time, I did. I guess to me Nano is great for pushing me to just write and get 50K words (at least) ... but as someone who writes almost every day anyway (though lately I've been a mad slacker) ... Nano isn't as much fun. Nano was what I used when I hadn't written in months on end and needed something competitive to push me.

I'm trying to decide if I want to set up my account because the book I'm working on now I actually started on Monday, so it would count... or if I should just track my progress separately here.

Decisions, decisions.

Are you doing Nano? How many words do you have so far? 


autumnmuse: By me (Default)

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